Those days,
The ones that rock,
The ones that roll,
The ones like today,
Where exercise was good,
Where work should have been exorcised,
Where stories collided with real life,
This day,
When news of Starkey ran into a coincidental conversation,
When educational training sighted active shooter protocol,
When fallacy met with phallic inadequacy,
And I think I was sexually harassed.
Women told me
That’s a normal thing for them,
If so, that sucks,
Not trying to be funny,
It does,
Much like that portion of my day,
After a Monster of the Midway lookalike
Ran smack into a dodgeball strategist,
Just before a well-meaning volunteer,
Got cracked by a rebar bending overly enthusiastic pseudo-victim.
Yes, one of those days,
Recovered from infamy
By a couple of beers and excellent hole in the wall tacos
With my daughter
Who brings an edge
That makes me proud,
The kind that put my disappointment in a colleagues closet expression of fantasy
In a perspective that allowed me to laugh,
Although, I feel a hashtag movement appropriate in my continued distant and
Professional relationship with the unwanted commentator.
So, as I write this at the end of the day,
I can look back with the perspective of some heavy suds
And allow my truth to flow,
Thank the good lord of education that summer vacation starts tomorrow.

I don’t think I could handle another one of these days.

A question to my colleague,

“Mrs. _____, I looked in your office,
I can’t find any pads. Do you have any pads?”

That one was yelled across a crowded gymnasium
With all the annoyance, attention seeking, and
Absolute disregard for school,
That I hope you read it with.

Later…

Two boys were slamming into each other.

Me, “What’s wrong with them?”
An In-the-Transgender-Process Person said,
“Testosterone. Well, too much test anyway.”

Funny, especially since it was uttered by a
Gaining of testosterone switcherooer.

I’ve been at this too long,
Maybe it’s just this year,
Maybe I’m getting too long in the years.
I’m turning into one of those people
Who isn’t phased by the drama,
The hyperbole, the disdain for proper
Social conventions.
I don’t know what’s what
And I’m defaulting to
“I don’t care, anymore.”
Normally, kids can’t phase me,
These two struck whatever gets struck
When an eyebrow goes up.

Truth,
I don’t care what gender a person wants to be.
That’s not part of my kingdom,
Just don’t hurt anyone and we’re cool.
I do, however, feel immense confusion about
How I should be around those who are changing,
It’s really just clumsy grammar,
New realities need new words, new phrases,
New ways of expression.
That will take time.

As for the other comment,
Straight up rudeness and lack of couth,
Dare I say, “Bad raising…”
Hey, we get the uncomfortableness of that time,
Get help, come prepared, whatever, but
I don’t think it’s necessary
To make a public plea of that type.

This morning proved especially tough for me
End of story,
“Tough” could be anything.
No need to be so attention seeking.
Nobody knows “tough.”
Some things are better kept in private, yes?

What if I just wore headphones
For the rest of this week?

It’s days like this
When I miss the James River,
Its wide crossing,
Its still flow,
The way it told the forecast,
The breeze it partnered with,
The way time slowed by its presence.

It’s days like this
When I wish I’d never picked up a ball,
Never experienced what winning felt like,
The joy,
The ego rush,
The adrenaline,
The way everything felt right after a victory.

It’s days like this
When I can’t fathom ten more years,
A decade seems so far away,
But I know it will be here too quickly,
So much will have changed by then,
Yet, I bet work will still be just as it was
Today.

The papers aren’t grading themselves
They just sit there waiting,
Waiting for corrections,
Comments, and
Wisdom.

They just have to wait until tomorrow
Since today has taken winter
And put it in the rear view mirror.
I’m soaking in the the early season rays
With every bit of training my cert gave me.

This morning I heard a story,
Inspirational,
One nearly incomprehensible in its audacity.

A man, a runner,
Who has seemed like the wind to me,
Once weighed as much as a heavy weight boxer.

Get the eff out of here,
Delusional,
Too good to be true.

Yet, this man,
Who runs silently with a caterpillar drive,
Is just that…truth.

After his reclamation tale,
I heard another quote,
“There goes the best part of this day.”

The tone was just as truthful,
More dour,
Something of a daily prediction.

Each persoon nodded,
Understanding that work was calling,
And the voluntary servitude we lead was about to start.

We rose,
Peeling our sweaty bodies away from the wooden chairs
To clean up and get back to business.

Corporate types, stay at home moms
Security experts, recent retirees, and a
Couple of educators.

I fit in the last group and
Spent my day wondering
Who was hocking loogies on the gym floor,

Then hoping kids could see beyond sonnets
And understand that there was plenty to learn from
Romeo and Juliet, if only their minds and hearts were open,

Conflict resolution,
Unhealthy relationship, and
Decision making strategies to name a few.

They didn’t buy it,
Their phones were a greater attraction and career molasses
Kept my Obama-era hope trapped within my heart.

Thank goodness for the running,
An hour of bliss with people who get it,
LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE GRIND.

There is more to us than work,
Schedules, appointments, conferences,
Varsity sports, or whatever we are supposed to be enamored with.

It’s just so refreshing
To be around inspiration, positivity, and
A bunch of others who know when the best times are.

My mother asked for something funny on the blog. This actually happened…

Enjoy, Mom…

Teaching health classes can be interesting. We talk about a great deal of personal “stuff” and this marking period is all about human sexuality. Today’s topic: What is sex? What is contraception?

Our discussion was all about preventing unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. We use an abstinence-plus model, so our discussion will eventually lead to a discussion of a variety of contraceptive methods. The students were categorizing a list of behaviors as to whether they believed each behavior was “sex” or “not sex.” The last three behaviors on the list were vaginal penetration, anal penetration, and oral penetration, each worded that way for a purpose beyond discussing here.

It is important for the story to know that I teach this class in another teacher’s classroom. Sometimes he stays in the room, but most of the time he leaves. Occasionally, he will forget something and come back to get it. He always apologizes or makes a comment about whatever we are talking about. Today was the best collision of his comments and our content as he never looked at the board to see what we were talking about.

Me: Is vaginal penetration sex?

Class: (Crickets)

The door opened and Mr. HaHa walked in.

Mr. HaHa: I’m sorry. I’ll be in and out fast.

Me: Hmmm, interesting.

Class: (Giggling)

Mr. HaHa: I must be the butt of some joke right now.

Me: Not yet, maybe in a minute…

Class: (Louder giggling)

Me: Is anal penetration sex?

Mr. HaHa: Oh, gosh.

Class: (Roaring)

Say what you will, this was funny. I know there are many attitudes about what should be taught in a health class with respect to these very personal behaviors, but this lesson had the right amount of levity to keep everything from getting too serious.

There you go, Mom…