Natural human behaviors
Seem so unfathomable to me.
I hear “the way people should act,”
And I wonder why it is that
I am unable
To do them naturally?
Why don’t I ask how others are feeling?
Why do I avoid delving into others’ personal lives?
I want them to be okay,
I care that they not suffer,
I know coping is not easy,
Yet, I feel like I shouldn’t ask how they are.
Probably, all of those,
But being on the inside doesn’t feel good to me.
After a life of looking away
I don’t know how to look out of me,
Even though, I won’t hurt others
Except when I’m not asking, I hear that I really am.
I’m sorry, everyone,
I haven’t got people figured out,
Maybe I gave up on them after my brother died,
Or my coach went to prison, or I understood
How badly people can treat each other.
Perhaps I retreated,
Thinking that if I just go day to day
That would be enough.
The logic being, I can’t be hurt
If I don’t bother with others.
Am I wrong?