Come on, kid
Wrist curls on a preacher bench?
Do you think you’re private area will stand up?

I’m mean, the way you are staring at yourself
While you do that bullshit exercise
And command all the space has got to be getting you off.

How about you take your little dumbbells,
Find a place to be alone, and
Stare at your phone while you do your little wrist curls?

At least if you took your hard work over there,
Maybe some other people could actually use that bench,
Maybe.

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Mornings start with a breaking of wind
Releasing gas right on queue
The subtle push will politely send
Noxious air all the way to you

Releasing gas right on queue
With covers to keep the smell pinned
Maybe the noxious air will get all the way to you
At which I will be told that I have sinned.

The covers will keep the smell pinned
With my morality all ballyhoo,
Could it be true that I sinned?,
I’ll let the second one go in the loo.