How about the people not working?
What’s the difference,
Nobody in Washington DC does anything anyway.

Two parties pissing on us,
What are the options
When A and B both suck?

Finding hope in this era
Is like finding a needle
Stuck right in your eye.

Why are things so crazy?
Who will be the one to lead?
Who cares, anymore?

Anxiety, a
Tension, helpful
Up to a point.

Boredom, a
Sled carrying weak challenges
To be dragged with low interest.

Apathy, a
Torrent of negativity
About it all. Pathetic.

Flow, a
Sum of getting over on
All that stuff.

Enough to keep it going,
That’s about where I’d like to be
On that edge where if things get pushed
A little harder
I might not be able to keep going.

They talk of the faults
Of taking life too easy,
All cozy and comfortable,
They counter with the idea
That it’s all more interesting at the outer limits.

I’d love to know and
That’s up to me,
Pushing ahead with all my might,
Pulling along with an equal effort,
Out there past my limitations.

Are changing priorities signs,
Signs that suggest apathy,
For all of the stuff left behind?

If so, is that all bad?

Today, with the resolutions starting,
I doubt all those weight loss armies
Are thinking it’s bad to be apathetic about gluttony.

And what’s wrong if they do?

The rub is that apathy is for real,
Not a word to be tossed around without caution,
Kind of like depressed and addicted.

See what I mean?

The words we choose have meaning,
Express yourself well and rest assured that
Priorities can change without apathy being the cause.

I mentioned back in 2018 that I would be attempting a “life hack” (Is that the cool term for making a life change?) and since this is the day to kick off the New Year’s resolution thing. I’m hoping to revive an interest in doing research, making some personal changes, and having a little fun expanding my abilities creativity. Anyway, too much info? Here are the “bones,” as my old advisor called them, to an evolving project to understand my relationships with apathy, goal commitment, and self-efficacy. To all of the professional researchers out there, I apologize for the lack of formality in my project. Remember, this is really just for fun.

Introduction

  • Significance of the Problem: Staying the course, while cliche, has always been a problem for me. I get distracted, bored, or lazy and once the focus is gone, apathy sets in. My choices detour from what is necessary and before long, I’ve lost sight of another potential achievement. As the years have passed by, I can’t help but wonder if I have missed out on too much by being apathetic (not committed, lazy) about doing things. Maybe I’ll be better in 2019, eh, maybe not… See the problem?
  • Theoretical Basis of the Study: We are the choices that we make. Apathy, while much more complex than we know, seems like it has a component rooted in agency, our power to direct our lives (choices). With Self-Determination Theory and Self-Efficacy as the backdrop, I believe that a person’s apathetic tendencies are based on the choices that he/she makes. Therefore, I hope to determine whether there is a relationship between my self-efficacy for each day, my commitment to my goals, and my motivation to remove apathy as a choice towards helping me achieve a series of health-related goals. Understand, that I acknowledge the complex chemical and structural influences related to the presence of apathy in a person. The present “study” does not suppose that those powerful influences should be minimized, but their identification as contributions to this study are beyond my means.
  • Problem Statement: Apathy is a serious roadblock to a variety of health outcomes. Determining ways to stave off apathy and maintain health is important.
  • Purpose of the Study: The purpose of the study is to determine the impact of journaling on the development of apathy towards exercise and writing commitment (and self-efficacy).
  • Research Question: Can I stay true to a bundle of exercise and creative goals throughout 2019?
    • Running two marathons: Expected time under 5:00:00
    • Losing twenty-twenty five pounds and maintaining that weight.
    • Doing ten unassisted/strict pull ups
    • Doing ten pistol squats with each leg
    • Getting seven or more hours of sleep each night
    • Drinking 48-ounces of water each day
    • Eating two or more servings of vegetables each day
    • Engaging in 15-minute meditation sessions 4 times per week
    • Completing a locally designed survey that attempts to identify sub-domains related to apathy
    • Post daily to my blog

The Wood Brothers are playing,
I’m back in Williamsburg
In the heat of a swampy Tidewater day.

It’s raining outside,
A cool Pennsylvania New Year’s Eve rain
And that delta blues groove is drawing me in.

I could be sitting next to the James
With the wind blowing lightly,
The spirit of Carter’s Grove as conflicted as ever.

The land fit for a king,
Supported on the forced servitude of slaves,
Evolved into a sanctuary for me.

And The Wood Brothers are tapping into that energy
Sending my soul to that place where I care
The one where I wish I could wave my hands to erase history

The history of slavery,
The history of doubt,
The one where my head spins without reason.

Truth is those cool breezes spoke to me,
I knew they were telling me things could be better
For us, for me

That people could get along,
That I could be cool with me,
That New Year’s Eve could be sober.

Those breezes are still with me,
They blow a little stiffer now,
Especially, the warm one about caring and purpose

For I’m traveling,
With the energy of the new year,
And maybe I’ll wind up in Williamsburg for real, maybe not,

But one thing is sure,
I’m open to messages everywhere,
Apathy has no shot.