Thought Games

How often do you play
What If?,
Would You Rather?, or
If I Won the Lottery?

I play a lot,
Thinking up scenarios
Of how life could have been different
If only…

What a torturous way to think,
Passing the treadmill miles chained to those loops
Of excessive and meaningless gravitas.
We are what we should be, right?…

…Supposed to be?

…Could be?

…Want to be?

It’s hard to know,
After days behind a mask,
Maybe even years behind one, if I get honest with myself
Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s what.

Hours inside, unsure of the purpose,
The future’s security, the burden of other people’s expectations,
It makes thinking about my life
Almost a combat sport.

Fortunately, on this coldest of days,
There was a glimmer of hope, cliche I know,
But I left work and the sun was still out,
My first outside weekday pink sky in weeks.

As for the games…just games.

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