This was some day,
When the fates threw their best at me,
I nearly cracked,
Blood was certainly drawn,
But in the end, I made it through.
It started with a swim,
I didn’t want to be in the water at 5 AM,
That’s when I have time to get it in, though.
My mind was waterlogged long before I got there,
Little did I know the pool would make things worse,
Because the second part of the workout
Was a high intensity interval training foray
In the far right lanes,
By the way, don’t call it Cross Fit, they might sue,
Or the current instructor might fly off a turnbuckle.
It was during class,
That I ran into Willard White, the crass oilman,
From Diamonds Are Forever, who was played
By Jimmy Dean, only my Willie, baby,
Walks around on sausage, thick, little piggies going to market
Chlorine seems to create rigidity and an insolence
That leaves common sense and over-developed senses of
Stuffed into an XL and hidden behind
Some life guard’s rescue gear.
Long story short, the wannabe Hasselhoff,
Who should be watching the pool,
Instead of surfing on his phone and talking to all of
The female coaches and instructors,
Decided to tell me I couldn’t swim in an empty lane.
It was reserved for swimmers.
“But, I’m swimming.”
“No, you’re taking class.”
“And we’re swimming.”
Not to mention that there weren’t any other people
IN THE EFFING POOL!
So I finished the very nice class,
Headed to school, proceeded to bang my head against the wall
As I asked the kids for the one hundred and second day in a row
To get their notebooks out for class, and then ride to a faraway school
And loose our next to last basketball game. Lovely.
Then there was dinner,
A short bike ride,
Making breakfast and lunch for tomorrow. On and on and on.
As I write, bedtime is approaching,
My dog is curled into a ball and will not be bothered,
He snores and yelps and I’m jealous.
Normally, I would just go to bed,
Turn out the lights, sing it, Willie, the party would be over.
But this never-ending day,
Still has me Ubering later,
Making a pickup at 9:30, so there is no sleeping yet,
Just me, some spicy tea, and the promise of tomorrow…