Of Steam and Staring

Somewhere I read that my most preferred environment,
At least from a species standpoint,
Is not too far off from the equator
Where the weather can be hot and steamy.
The chill where I reside,
Is not prime Cox weather,
Although, the faux freezing rain
Does bring out the dick in decision-makers,
But that is another story, so back to my tropical propensities,
And a history of health club living,
That peaked in the late nineties at a resort spa
Unattended by guests of the Colonial Capitol
So it became more of my personal bathroom.
The sauna was clean, free of the rock pissers,
The Swiss needle shower was sharp,
The hot tub relaxing, and the steam room
Suited to what I didn’t realize was my equatorial ways.

Now it’s a push, the confines of communal relaxing putting pressure
On the relaxing rooms of heat and humidity.
With the impending winter bomb that never materialized,
I had time to think about a morning of chilling observations,
Not any of them criminal, nor DC nauseating, more illuminating,
No, more unexplainable, harmless,
Certainly, thoughts conjured up in that way that people can make shit up
For the humor, if nothing else.
In my time off today, I’ve realized that I’m suited for wherever I am,
Except, of course, a crowded steam or shower,
Especially after watching a Fabio wannabe hang at the coffee station
All tanned and dressed in trendy sweats
Grabbing the all-purpose man’s shoulder in a friendly way,
Perhaps not welcomed, whether friendly or amorous,
But tolerated. The connection is the steam, Fabio being a man of the steam
Who prefers to wash off in the pool,
Stretch in the pool with his face on the deck
While doing donkey kicks and
Whatever other gyrations are performed just under the water’s surface.

I don’t know Fabio, the name seemed appropriate,
Not sure which of the those in the klatch gave him the moniker, but
I’ve seen him in action, the undressing on the pool deck,
Just to his swimsuit, before he disappears into the tropical airs
Of man-made humidity.
Fortunately, I was not staring, the way that he went Euro on the touching
Was a bit comical, the recipient of the friendly touching was
Only able to keep refilling the swill dispensers, but the devilish one
Had a look of amazement that was the true stealer of my attention.
It is so nice when there is strength in numbers.
I knew when I realized my friend was just as confused as I was about the petting
That sitting back and watching the whole scene play out
Was going to be the highlight of my day
Because when you catch someone staring at something
And they realize they’ve been caught, but both are in on the joke,
The laughter is that much more real.
It’s also good when the rest of the group is trying to figure out what’s so funny.

It’s been twelve hours, I’m still smiling,
Still confused by the groping,
Still glad for the moment of realization
Because these cold winter days can be a grind
And taking advantage of the amenities
In such a hustling and bustling latitude
Is not something this tropical schmo takes in too often.
I will, however, take all the laughter I can get.
The mornings are great for that.

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