Rory and Allen Go West (#19)

Maybe they had seen too much Star Trek or Twilight Zone. Maybe they were dehydrated from the steam. Maybe they were worn out from drain of their spiritual quest. Whatever it was, Rory and Allen had to get out of the field house. Mickey said goodbye as the exhausted duo stepped into the field with the goats who were sitting under a pop-up canopy with The Hawk, Ward, and Shade, three principled men. Allen was too tired to react and Rory was like Pavlov’s dogs, helpless to even ask why. Shade pointed to the ground in front of them. Rory and Allen walked over and sat on the ground.

Shade was first to speak, “You are having quite a journey. Now is the time to get out of the sun. There is peace in the darkness. Let the canopy’s shadow soothe your nerves. Never stare directly into the light.”

Ward went next, “Each experience is an investment. You must keep buying in and understanding how each person influences your growth. Your faith will guard and protect you.”

Finally, The Hawk spoke, “Soon you will realize the lesson of thinking before acting. Write down your thoughts and gather them into a list for life. First, though, you will have your energy restored. Go to the annex.”

The bearded goat nodded and began trotting in the direction of the old annex. Allen was still shaken at having danced with a new wave punk spirit, but he followed Rory and the goat knowing that whatever happened would be something to remember. They entered the dark building and the goat pushed open the door on the first classroom to the left, Doc Fallen’s room.

Rory and Allen walked in to what could have been a science geek’s disco. Bunsen burners were lit on all of the tables. There strobe lights on the ceiling. At the teacher’s desk was Doc Fallen who was dropping a funky playlist that somehow had the feeling of a hoedown.

“I’m won’t dance,” said Allen.

“We’ve got to go in, it’s Doc. He was the greatest,” said Rory.

They went in and Doc Fallen hit a switch. The sound system started playing Rapper’s Delight at about four times the normal speed. A filmstrip proctor came on and started showing frames of mountains in the desert with cactus, scorpions, and vultures. Bubbles started rising from the beakers around the room and there was a smell of burning sulphur. The music got faster and the flames from the burners shot higher. Allen twitched like he was about to start dancing. Rory grabbed a blue book from a desk and started brainstorming:





Suddenly there was pop and everything went still. Rory and Allen looked to Doc Fallen who said, “Somebodies have not written their memoirs. I don’t like to embarrass people, so I’ll just use their initials, Rory and Allen. Go!”

They ran into the hallway passing Mr. Yates’s room making sure not to stare at the light.

The bearded goat headed straight for a black limousine that was parked under the rusting basketball hoops. The other goats stayed with the principals. Rory and Allen also jumped into the limo. There were large take out bags from Pierce’s Barbecue on the seat, pulled pork sandwiches and hush puppies. The car started and the Fat Boys’s album, “All Meat No Filler,” started playing as the guys dug into their first supper.

“I don’t know, Rory, maybe we should be eating wheat germ and blood pudding,” said Allen.

“I couldn’t handle the onions, dude.”

The divider between the front and back of the limo lowered just enough for the driver to hand Rory and Allen proper journals and Sharpie medium point markers for their writing.

“Thank you,” said Rory.

“You’re welcome.”

The chauffeur’s voice was very familiar. Rory was surprised that their driver was a women and that he might know who she was.


The window came down the rest of the way and sure enough, Faith was the driver.

“What are you doing?”

“My dad asked me to help with his driving today. He said this would be a special trip and that I might be able to help you guys make sense of all the thoughts you would have.”

Faith was good a figuring stuff out. Once in high school she had been able to decipher the lyrics to “Young Turks” for a Sociology project. Nobody else seemed to get it, but her.

“I’m driving and you guys need to get to work.”

“Where are we going?” asked Allen.


Rory and Allen decided to start making life lists before delving into the details of their memoirs. The life stories probably would not be that interesting, but maybe they could share their code with people. They also decided that they would not share their lists until the got, “West.”

They drove for several days. Finally, Faith stopped on a cool desert night in the middle of a driving range outside of Tuscan, AZ. Everyone got out of the car and stood under the clearest sky they had ever seen.

“We’ve been here before,” said Rory.

“Yep,” said Allen.

Ever curious, Faith said, “Let’s hear your lists.”

“How about we give our three best and then come up with one together?” asked Rory.

“Game on,” said Allen.

Rory’s Three:

1. Stonehenge: Mystery is okay.
2. Recompense: Right the wrongs as best you can.
3. Swatch Watch: Time is not trendy, it just is.

Allen’s Three:

4. Warrant: Favor comes to those who do good things.
5. Pustules: Accept that success takes hard work.
6. Insatiable: Never lose your love of life.


7. Diode: Goodness flows in one direction, the positive one.

Faith said, “You guys have written a code that says we should appreciate goodness and that a person cannot know everything. Neither of you seem like young revolutionaries or new wavers, but you’re starting something.”

In the distance someone was smoking cannabis.

The goat trotted off…

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